3 years

Still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that he is gone sometimes. 3 years. So long yet so short. Someone commented to me the other day on how they admired my faithful love for Ted. Just because he died doesnt mean my love dies too. I have this crazy urge to contact the subway restaurant where he bought our dinner the night he died and see if they have any video of him from their cameras. I just want to see him. It would have been the last few hours of his life. And so today, as I do every year, I begin the "At this time 3 years ago game". Not that I want to play but your mind just goes there as the hours of the day go by. I hope he knew how loved he was. I think he did. How sad for people who go through life never knowing what it feels like to be loved. I can close my eyes and feel how much he loved me. Still loves me. 3 years later.