It's the little things

I know I need to condense all the key rings. His two and my one. But I can't bring myself to do it. It seems like such a small thing. But it's not. It's huge for me. So I continue to carry two huge sets of keys in my purse. His cell phone. It is not needed. I have already recorded his voice mail greeting so it's on my computer. But I like to see it sitting on the desk. Where it usually sat because he always forgot it. His boots still sit at the back door where he left them. His jacket still hangs on the hook he put it on. The little things. Today was a crying hard day. Everyday is a crying day but I don't cry hard everyday like I did several weeks ago. So I cried hard a lot today. I still ask him to come home knowing he can't. He probably would not want to anyway. The pain is so intense sometimes. It feels like a ton of bricks sitting on your chest. Grief is heavy. I miss him so much. What I wouldn't give to just have his arms around me for a few brief minutes. I love you my soul mate Ted.