I Can Help

I was 6 years old in 1974 & my Dad, Mom,sister & I were going to my grandparents house up north. It was night & we were all in the front cab of the truck. I was sleeping on blankets on the floor. I remember seeing the glow of the dashboard lights. The song I Can Help by Billy Swan was playing on the radio. I felt so safe & secure. When I hear that song I go back to that night as the wheels of the truck hummed on the pavement & I was curled up in blankets safe with my family. The words spoke to me years ago when I was divorced & raising my older son but I didn't know many years later the words would have so much more meaning to me.
I ache all over. I don't know if this is from little to no activity or a symptom of grief but I my body hurts so bad. I feel like I could lay down in bed & just not get up for a very long time. Hire someone to take care of everything. I feel as if I am slipping into that fog again.
I picked up his jacket from the cleaners today. I found it in the garage attic, torn in a few places & did not trust myself to repair it. I wonder when I stopped wearing it. I think it still hung in the house in 2004 but I can't remember. It felt good to put it on. I miss him so much.