Where are you?

A new job, new choices, decisions to be made without you. I sit here crying wondering Where are you? I seem to do ok for a few days, sometimes even a week. With few tears and actually thinking of other things. But something ALWAYS brings me back eventually. And then I just can't stand life anymore. I don't want to be here without you. You were supposed to be here when Michael finally got his chickens he's been begging us for the last 2 years! You were supposed to be here when we put up our pool we bought last year. The memories I have of us 3 swimming together. Such peaceful, quiet times. Who is going to play shark with him? Who is going to throw him up in the air & into the water? Where are you? I need you to come back home. I can't do this by myself. I'm so tired. Of that hollow, empty feeling inside that never leaves me.