Keeping Busy

Lots of people told me at the funeral to keep busy. It still applies over 6 months later. I can't stand weekends. The days go so slow. I started crying today as my little boy was outside in the chicken coop and as the crying got worse I decided to just go outside and wash the car. I was still sad as I washed but it did keep me busy for a little while. I miss him. I miss laying down with him on a Sunday afternoon to take a nap. I open the garage door everyday just so I can feel like he is out there. When does this end? I don't think it will ever end. I miss him. I miss talking to him. I miss hearing him talk back. I miss being part of us. So here I am crying again as I type this. I have no one to call. No one to talk to. People have their own families. People are busy. People are sick. Was I too busy for other people before? I hope not. I washed dishes. I swept the floors. I did the laundry. I am running out of things to keep busy with. If he was here I would be letting those things go. I look at the sky all the time trying to find him. I never see him though. It is so hard to think that he is so close yet so far away. I just still want him home.