Autopsy

It came in the mail today. The envelope was addressed to MS. I scribbled it out. I am still a Mrs. That is how I feel. I let it sit on the counter for awhile. Everything I read from fellow widows said Do Not Read it Alone if at all. Most everyone regretted reading it. So I eventually opened it. All I read was the first page. He died from Dilated Cardiomyopathy. His poor little heart weighed 800 grams. It said "very enlarged". It also said it deemed it be to be natural causes. I then folded it up, put in back in the envelope & put it in the funeral home bag & put that back in the closet. Now I am crying because it just isn't fair. I sit here now & listen to our precious son playing outside & he is supposed to be here! I don't want to do this anymore. I am tired! I just want to rest!I just want him home!
I have been dreaming and looking for a home with more property for us for the last 4 years. I actually have a chance to get it now and I don't know what to do. He was supposed to be here to enjoy it with us. I miss him. I just miss my husband!