Quiet

It seems so much more quiet. No noise from the tv or a zombie computer game, or car engines revving in the garage or laughter as Michael & his Dad play wrestle. Too quiet. I long for the phone to ring but when it finally does I do not want to talk. It is not the person I wish it were. So many things to do still & no motivation to do it. I wish this stupid snow would melt. I long for spring. Then I wonder how will I face all the things of spring without him. I still feel lost. I want to go back in time. If only. I have the task of ordering his headstone very soon. So it can be placed soon. Everytime I go there & see his name in black letters on the small sign from the funeral home it just doesn't seem real. I always loved his name. He told me once a long time ago he didn't like his name. Because it didn't do anything. It just sat there. I miss him so much.