The Cuddler

I read an article about a woman who is being criticized for her new profession and business she created. She is a professional cuddler. People pay her a set rate and she will lay in bed with them and cuddle. No sex, just cuddling. A warm arm around you all night if you have the money. I so get this need. There are many things I miss about him but the loss of his touch is hard. A simple hug from the one you know loves you more than anything is worth so much. It can't compare to hugs from your kids or parents or the sweet ladies at church. It just can't. The loss of just being able to come home and tell him about your crappy day, even if he doesn't see your point of view. I email him occasionally. They never come back as undeliverable so I like to think he gets them. I used to call his cell phone just so I could listen to his message but eventually I did let his service cancel. Then one day I had forgot and called his number. My heart stopped. A man answered. I hung up. So a few days ago I texted him. I just wanted to tell him I love him. I miss his companionship. I miss loving him and having him love me back. I have discovered in the last few months one thing I thought was impossible. There is room enough in my heart for him and someone else. Which I'm relieved to know. It doesn't mean I have to forget him. He is part of the woman I am today. I was so blessed to have my own cuddler for so many years, I wish I had appreciated it more. Hmmmm a cuddler. Would be nice but I would settle for paying someone to at least rub my feet for an hour.