Weekends

Had a perfectly fine day. Work is going well. Family is doing well. Spent quality time with my son today. But every Friday it starts. At around 5pm. Most people love it. They plan things for it. The weekend. The long, drawn out, slow weekend. It seems to be never ending. When he was alive that's how I used to be. Couldn't wait for the work week to be over, school to be over so we could sleep in, go to the flea market, yard sales, catch a movie, just do whatever. Sometimes together. Sometimes not. Not anymore. I can't wait for 6am Monday morning. Weekends have become unbearable. Don't know why but today the grief has just come crashing down. Sitting outside crying, cars driving by. I do not even care. My chest hurts. Sometimes I want to check myself into a hospital just for the weekend. Just so someone can take care of me. I miss him. I hate this loneliness. Keep busy. Bring work home. Clean the house for the 10th time. Only so much you can do. So many games you can play. Just keep going. Monday will be here soon. The weekend can't last forever.