No Change

So things are still the same. How do you make change? How do you create a new path, new journey from the one you were on for the last 12 years? I do not know. I think i am trying only to realize I have not made any progress. I miss him. I cry for him. I cry for our son and what he has lost. I have flashbacks of that night. Yet I get up, go to work, buy groceries, make appointments. Do what needs to be done. I need a new path. Soon.